Top 8 Dating Mistakes Women and Men Make

The early stages of a relationship can be the most critical. If one date goes badly, that may be the end of things. This article will outline the top 8 dating mistakes made by women and men so you can avoid the pitfalls.

We’ll break things down into 4 mistakes by women and follow it by 4 errors by men, providing our unique perspectives on how to do better in your relationships.

Before we dig in, here’s a comparison infographic that displays each of the dating mistakes:

Dating Mistakes Women Make – Cassie’s View

Here’s some advice for all the women out there: take your time with dating and ask the right questions.

Whether the first date is in person or online, it’s is all about information gathering. Spend that time attentively!

1. Moving too fast too soon

Sometimes a relationship is going so well that it is virtually impossible to not envision where it might lead.

Should you introduce him to your friends and family? Should you begin looking at apartments together, or subtly hinting at your ring size?

It is fun and exciting in the fresh stages of romance to picture the life you might have with a new love interest. However, if the waiter has yet to bring dessert on your first date, you might want to slow your roll.

One of the biggest mistakes women make in the initial stages of relationships is to get caught up in the newness of it and imagine it to be something more serious than it is before it has a chance to be. This can be off-putting for any partner and may send your new potential mate running in the opposite direction rather quickly.

It is imperative to take the time to really get to know the other person before deciding whether they are truly worthy of the life you are planning for the two of you, and any children you see in your crystal ball.

In the meantime, it is probably best to keep those plans quiet. At least until the third or fourth date.

2. It’s all about me

Sometimes first dates can be rather awkward, and conversations don’t come easily.

In those instances, some people have a tendency to drone on mindlessly about themselves without giving much consideration to what the other person is thinking or feeling. This might make the time fly a little easier, but it certainly is not the key to finding love or to getting to know the company you are with.

When silences become long it can be a good opportunity to ask probing questions of your companion. Finding common ground can lead to good conversation.

Conversely, finding points that you may differ on may actually lead to an interesting and stimulating discussion. However, remember to always keep it light and friendly: this is a date, not an interview!

Simply by having thoughtful conversations you may find that you are a good fit for someone or that it might be best you go your separate ways.

3. It’s all about my ex

People who have recently left relationships often try to get over their heartbreak by finding someone new. Although this can be a sound strategy, the new relationship can be poisoned from the jump if the conversation routinely turns to talk about the old days.

It would be very difficult to continue romantically with someone who is either reminiscing about the good times, complaining about the bad ones, or making comparisons in any aspects of the relationship.

This would imply that perhaps there were still feelings present and more time was needed to heal. The best outcome this situation could hope for would be a friend who is willing to listen.

4. It’s all about him

Sometimes women feel very vulnerable when they are really interested in a new love interest and are afraid of losing them.

Here are some dating mistakes this fear may cause women to make:

• They may be agreeable to dates that don’t interest them.
• Women may pretend to have hobbies or skills that they do not possess.
• They might engage in conversations that bore them to tears.

Although this strategy may work short-term as the crush is often thrilled that he has somehow stumbled upon his ideal mate, it is never sustainable. While it can be exhilarating initially to catch the object of your affection, did you really catch him if you did not show him your true self?

Love yourself enough to find someone who will love you for everything you truly are.

Nick’s Perspective on Dating Mistakes Men Make

The objective of a first date isn’t to win the relationship. It’s all about seeing whether there’s an initial spark—something worth delving deeper on.

1. Bragging about money

If you start the relationship out by making it about money, that’s all it will be. While it’s good to let her know you have a stable source of income (i.e., you have a job), leave it there.

In some of my early relationships, I let it be known that I was doing well financially. Next thing I knew, I was expected to pay for vacations and other expenses. It can be a slippery slope letting finances take on a role in your relationship.

Further, it can even be a sign of low self-esteem if a man is talking too much about things he owns. It becomes a mask for what’s missing internally, rather than a positive.

Keep the relationship about your attraction to one another, not external factors like a fancy lifestyle.

2. Being negative or dismissive about past lovers

As men, we often feel the need to exude confidence in our decisions and life direction. When the topic turns to our past, we don’t like to project any form of vulnerability.

One form of masking past mistakes or hardships is to take the tough stance. This can manifest itself through saying bad things about people in our past.

Here are a few ways men put down past relationships to project strength:

• Saying their past lover didn’t mean that much to them.
• Talking about the mistakes others made, whether romantic partners or not.
• Indicating how much better off they are since being freed up from a past relationship.

The reality is that men do get hurt when relationships end. There’s nothing weak about having a few scars from the journey of life. If a man feels the need to cover that up, it’s a huge dating red flag.

3. Talking too much about themselves

The way gender roles have developed over time, men are often seen as needing to do a bit of a sales job in relationships. We like to talk about the good things we’ve done and how great we are as people.

The problem with this is that dating is a two-way street.

The ideal scenario on a first date is an even 50/50 split for conversation. Each person should be sharing details about themselves, along with being interested in learning about the other.

Rather than showing off what a great catch they are, men often appear insecure by rambling about themselves instead of asking about their date.

The bottom line is that it’s enough to just let her know you’re a good person without trying too hard to force that perception.

4. Making decisions without getting input from their partner

A relationship is a partnership. Each person should have an equal say in how things move forward, along with the regular day-to-day routine.

A common tendency for men is to charge forward and make decisions without involving their significant other.

These are some of the decisions men make without consulting anyone:

• Buying a boat.
• Booking a vacation.
• Deciding on which movie to see or where to go for dinner.

In a best scenario, this decisiveness can be viewed as beneficial. More often, though, this can be viewed as a sign of disrespect.

After all, if you’re not asking her opinion on decisions large or small, it signals that you simply don’t care.

Final Thoughts on the Top Dating Mistakes by Women and Men

The goal of dating is to find a partner you actually enjoy spending time with and who likes being with you. To accomplish this, you need to be straightforward about the person you are.

The biggest dating mistake of all is to be deceptive with your partner. The truth eventually comes out over time, so don’t set yourself up for that kind of failure.

There’s no point putting on a big show in the early stages of dating if you can’t keep up that persona. It gets too tiring to keep pretending to be someone you’re not, so just be honest and things will work out.