6 Fail-Proof Ways to Get Out of the Friend Zone

Finding yourself stuck in a platonic relationship, wanting to get out of the friend zone? You’re not alone. If you think you’ve met your soul mate, you can’t leave things to chance.

This article isn’t about a million tactics you could try in vain.

Instead, it lists six proven strategies to get you to the other side with your close friend.

Here goes.

1. Tell them the truth, honestly

As obvious as the chemistry might be to you, they might not even know you feel friend zoned. If you want to get out of the friend zone, at some point you’ll need to tell them what’s up.

Remember that you’re accountable for expressing your emotions to them. If they really care about you, they will want to know the truth.

This is the most direct—and scariest—method to kick-start your romantic relationship. This is always an acceptable strategy, but you might want to warm them up to the idea first.

Years ago, the only way to do this would have been in person. Today, it is perfectly acceptable to send them a text to help figure things out.

You could text something as simple as, “Hey, thinking a lot lately about our friendship. Wondering if you think we might actually be something more?”

It doesn’t have to be intimidating. Just keep in mind that things can be misinterpreted by text, and it can be painstaking to wait for their reply!

2. Flirt with them and make it obvious

If you keep acting like you’re only their best friend, that’s exactly how they’ll see you. There’s a big difference between light banter and intimate conversation. It’s all in the eyes.

Deep eye contact might not seem like a strategy, but it will immediately shift your interactions. This can either feel awkward or help develop the sort of connection you’re looking for.

Regardless of how you go about flirting, the main thing is that they feel the difference. Not just in the way you’re treating them from previously, but they should also feel special in relation to others. If they’re already a good friend of yours, they’re going to know you’re giving them a unique part of yourself.

3. Get out of the friend zone by introducing some light physical contact

A gentle touch on the arm or the hand can go a long way. Sexual tension is may begin in the mind, but you can express it physically.

If you have the sort of rapport that will make a romantic relationship worthwhile, there should be plenty of opportunities for this. For example, here are some safe times you can deliberately initiate some contact:

• After they’ve made a joke (make sure you laugh)
• If you’re getting up from, or sitting down at a table (like at a restaurant)
• When you’re sitting beside one another at the movie theatre

The key with this is to also be respectful. They’re your friend and could possibly be more, but be mindful of their boundaries.

Your job here isn’t to force things, just to nudge them along!

4. Give them space to develop their own feelings for you

Time apart can make the heart grow fonder.

If you want them to notice you, sometimes that means not being so available to them.

Be careful with this tip. You don’t want to be playing senseless games with them, but you do need to show you shouldn’t be taken for granted.

The side benefit to this is that time apart is also great for figuring out your own feelings. If you find yourself wanting more of them when you’re not with them, that’s a great sign.

5. Aim to have one-on-one time together

You may be finding yourself in many group engagements with the object of your affection. In group settings, it is difficult to differentiate yourself from the others.

To get out of the friend zone, you need to make sure you’re also getting some personal time.

These are some simple ways to be alone in a positive way:

• Ask them to dinner. This doesn’t necessarily mean you need to foot the bill, but that can go a long way. This is an easy (if expensive) way to signal your relationship-intentions.
• Invite them to a movie. Make sure they know that you aren’t simply looking for anyone to see the movie with. Let them know you want to see the movie with them specifically.

Both of these will address your desire to move beyond an unofficial relationship to something more exclusive.

6. Set new patterns for your relationship.

If you’re in the friend zone, you made it there for a reason. You may be a good listener and confidante. You might have some common interests that brings you together.

Doing the same things will lead to the same results, though. When you’re ready to get out of the friend zone, you need to show them a different side.

Get Out of the Friend Zone By Changing the Dynamic

You want them to see you in a new light. That begins with handling your interactions more deliberately.

If he brings up how he can always count on you and values your companionship? Use the opportunity to ask whether he could ever see it being something more.

If she tells you she doesn’t have any luck with relationships? Let her know you’d treat her better if she was with you.

At the end of the day, taking action is how you’ll reframe your bond. You know your situation best, so think of those times that make your heart flutter. Make a plan for how to change the dynamic.

Final Thoughts to Get Out of the Friend Zone

In any relationship, it’s going to take two to make it work. Everything in this article has the best chance of working if there’s at least some spark on the other end.

Be sure to act sooner rather than later. Once you’ve worked through the list above, you’ll know exactly where you stand. To get out of the friend zone, you need to make the first step.

And that’s a good thing, because the hardest thing is being in limbo. Best to figure out whether it’s time to move forward, or simply move on.