Ghosted After the First Date: How to Handle the Heartbreak

Finding yourself shut out of communication is always difficult. It leads to questions about what you might have done wrong. Getting ghosted after the first date can be even worse because you don’t have much information to go on.

Did they simply not like you? Did you say something wrong?

In this article, we’ll explain how to handle being ghosted in the early stages of a relationship.

Don’t make it about you

When you’re ghosted after the first date, it is always tempting to dissect every moment to figure out at which point radio silence was going to be the final outcome. It is important to remember that there is a good chance that this is not about you or anything that you could have done wrong.

Let’s face it, in life sometimes our paths just cross with others that are not meant for us. It is an opportunity to build character and be stronger.

Nobody deserves to be with someone who could not take the time to get to know them properly before dismissing them.

You actually came out ahead on this one.

Recommended Reading: How to Deal With Ghosting in 4 Easy Steps

Call them out…or don’t

When you have been ghosted by someone you do not have an established relationship with, there really is no right or wrong answer on whether or not you should reach back out. You are likely feeling confused, angry, upset, and justifiably want some answers.

If that is the case, you are well within your rights to send one final text where you let them know that you recognize their bad behaviour.

Here are some texting rules for communicating with someone who has ghosted you:

• Keep it brief
• Stay out of any drama
• Fully expect you may not get any answers, or even a response

On the other hand, it is also healthy to just move past the ghosting without further communication.

Remember: It was only one date.

Move on and refocus when you get ghosted after the first date

If you had future plans with the ghost, use those as opportunities to spend time with friends, family, or on activities that you enjoy.

There is no sense in wallowing on a relationship that only lasted a single date.

Be excited for the future you have ahead of you, knowing that you have moved one more potential mate firmly into the no column.

Look at the big picture and seek patterns

Although it is acceptable to feel upset or confused about being ghosted after one date, it is important to gain some perspective.

It was only one date.

You will likely have many first dates that go nowhere before finding someone compatible enough to spend a lifetime with.

Investigate where the negative feelings are coming from.

Are they about the ghost or the ghosting? Does this happen frequently in your dating life?

Perhaps there are some red flags for online dating that you are missing in the type of companion you are choosing. If this is the case, that will explain why you keep ending up at hopeless dinners that don’t lead anywhere.

In learning more about the patterns and habits you have in your relationships, you can learn to choose healthier options and potentially save some heartbreak in the future.

What is normal communication after a first date?

A first date should feel refreshing and light. It should be easy to make conversation because you don’t really know anything about one another yet.

All the same, you should continue to keep the back-and-forth fun after that first date. This will let them know you’re a relaxed person and would be worth seeing again.

Here are a few things you shouldn’t be texting them about after your first date:

• Marriage
• Parenthood
• Finances
• Moving in together

If you’re hitting those heavy topics right after meeting them, you can expect them to run for the doors. These are things that should come up organically over time, but not be the focal point of early discussions.

Why do you keep getting ghosted after the first date?

As noted above, you may want to take inventory if you’re finding a pattern. If it seems like your partners just keep disappearing when they seem to like you, it’s important to look deeper.

While you don’t want to drive yourself into a lake of your own self-pity, you can still own the process.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself to figure out why you continuously get ghosted after the first date:

• Are you trying too hard on the dates?
• Do you let them speak or are you overbearing with details about yourself?
• Are you finding any signs of chemistry to begin with?
• Have you been coming on too strong and over-texting them?

If it seems like you’re doing everything right, there’s a good chance you may not be self-reflecting well enough.

Begin with this exercise of asking the right questions and see what you discover.

Final Thoughts on Being Ghosted After the First Date

The early stages of dating can come with the most intense emotions. When everything is new, all senses are on fire.

If you find yourself worked up over a lack of follow-through after the fact, our advice here will help you out. Take things easy and give yourself a break about things.

Be patient and the right one will come along. You’ll eventually see a second date in your future.