5 Signs He is Pretending to Love You

There is nothing more emotionally rewarding than being in a fulfilling, two-way relationship. When both partners are all-in with their devotion to one another, that’s the sweet spot. Sadly, that isn’t always the case. If you suspect he is pretending to love you, we’ve got the indicators you should be looking for.

On their own, each of these don’t definitely mean he doesn’t love you, but together they make a compelling case.

Let’s get going.

1. He doesn’t make you a priority

The number one rule in any good relationship is to make your partner the center of your world.

If you are truly in love, you will:

• Factor your partner into all life decisions.
• Include your partner in the decision-making process.
• Always consider the feelings and emotions of your partner.

If you are questioning where you stand in your relationship, chances are it is not at the top. This could be that the two of you have different ideas around your commitment level, or it could signal that he is pretending to love you.

Either way, you deserve to be put first.

2. He won’t have the important conversations

One of the most fun, and sometimes most challenging, parts of a serious relationship is having those deep conversations about the future. With the perfect partner, things only stay casual for so long before talks turns to commitment, living situations, and family.

If you are finding that every time you lead the conversation down this path you hit a major block, it could be that your SO just isn’t ready to have these talks.

Evaluate your relationship situation:

• Have you been together a long time?
• Are there underlying issues that would prevent you from moving forward?
• Are you together for the right reasons?

If everything seems on the up-and-up, it could simply just be that the timing is not right, and you will find your flow if you work together patiently. However, if your gut is telling you that something is not right, you should probably listen.

If he is shying away from the deep conversations, he’s likely hiding his true feelings.

3. Everything is a quid pro quo

Love should be selfless. Love should be giving.

If you are finding that he is only willing to give when it is beneficial to him, that is a clear sign that he is pretending to love you.

If you are noticing that your crush has periods of radio silence, then magically appears when he needs money, sex, or a favour, then head for the hills! The tiny bit of affection you receive in that moment is transactional, and not worthy of your time.

4. He acts differently behind closed doors

Is your partner super affectionate in public and on his social media stories, yet when you are alone together he doesn’t seem to have time for you? If so, chances are the PDA is all for show.

There are a number of reasons your crush may be handsy in public:

• Is he trying to portray an image?
• Does he want to make an ex jealous?
• Is he an exhibitionist?

It is one thing to have a partner who is so into you that they just can’t control themselves in public, but for that to disappear the second the door closes…red flag, red flag, red flag.

5. He wants to keep you a secret

There can be many advantages to keeping a relationship secret, but only if it is an agreed upon decision by both partners. Without consent, it’s just sneaky.

If you feel like you don’t know a lot about your partner’s life, or that his life doesn’t know about you, this could mean that he doesn’t really love you.

Ask your partner to meet his friends and family. If he cares about you, this is something he will want to do. A solid relationship is one that can successfully incorporate all aspects of each other’s lives.

It doesn’t mean that you can’t have separate interests or friend groups, but you should certainly never be kept in the dark about them. 

Final Thoughts on the Signs He is Pretending to Love You

It can be truly difficult to find someone who loves you back, particularly in the way you need it to be. Still, you deserve someone who is going to treat you the way you expect and deserve.

The worst thing in the world is to be diving deep in a relationship, only to find they aren’t feeling what you do. If you find he’s ticking off all the boxes on this list, then there’s a good chance he is pretending to love you.

If that’s the case, it may be time tell him to shape up or ship out.