How to Deal with Ghosting in 4 Easy Steps

Ghosting is one of the most challenging things to deal with in any relationship. It can take place with romantic partners, along with family and friends. In this article, we’ll examine how to deal with ghosting and come out the other side a better person.

Our emphasis will be on ghosting between lovers (or former lovers).

Let’s get started.

The 4 Steps for How to Deal with Ghosting

The best way to deal with ghosting is to recognize your own value and ensure others respect it. Communication goes both ways, so you shouldn’t be left in the cold and constantly trying to keep things going.

Remember that a relationship should be about harmony and treating one another with love and kindness. There is no need to be fighting a cold war with someone you care about.

If you are putting your heart out there and simply getting iced on the other end, it’s painful. This infographic will outline the steps in this article so you can move past the ghosting stage in your relationship:

When you’re ready to make a change, just follow this advice.

1. Determine that Ghosting has Occurred

Technology has enabled an almost too-connected society, and thus when someone does not immediately respond to our messages, it can create feelings of anxiety. If you feel that you have been ghosted by a crush, the first thing to do is to determine whether or not that was the actual intent.

Did you ask about dinner plans at the start of their workday, and they have not yet seen the message, or has it been weeks of unanswered communications? The difference between the two is likely an attempt at a ghosting.

Figuring out whether you’ve been ghosted is critical so you can figure out whether you’re overreacting. Remember, it’s possible that they actually did just lose their phone, go through a difficult job loss, or some other factor that might make it seem like they’re icing you.

If you got locked out at an early stage of a relationship, we recommend checking out our guide to handling getting ghosted after the first date.

Figuring Out if You’ve been Ghosted: Text Message Tips

Rather than constantly reaching out to your ghost in the same way you normally have, try mixing it up.

Here are three things you can text them to see whether they’re ghosting you:

• Hey, haven’t heard from you in a bit. Is everything okay?
• Seems like you haven’t been responding back to me lately. I’d love to know what’s going on in your life.
• I miss talking to you. Maybe we could get together tomorrow?

One huge recommendation when you’re figuring out if you’ve been ghosted: Do not ask them if they’re mad at you. That just sets things off on a bad foot.

2. Send a Final Communication

If you feel you have been ghosted, it might be prudent to send one final message just to be certain and to put your mind at ease.

Here are some guidelines for the type of text message to send to the ghost:

1. Keep it simple. Do not go into great detail about the heartbreak you are feeling or the mess you are without them. 
2. Do not be overly accusatory unless you are absolutely done with the relationship. Be forewarned, however this is not a good look on anyone. Decide to be the bigger person.
3. Be composed and dignified. Let the ghost know you suspect they do not want to continue a relationship and it will be up to them to correct this impression if it is wrong.

By keeping the text brief, it will be focused solely on the message you want to convey. They’ll know you recognize you’re being ghosted and that you’re moving on unless something changes.

Knowing how to deal with ghosting comes down to setting boundaries and living by them. Determining what you are and are not willing to accept in a relationship is key.

3. Set the Ghost Free

Now that you have said your goodbye, it is time to release them.

If you had feelings for this person, you are certainly allowed and expected to grieve the relationship. It is time to do all of the things that would make you feel better at the conclusion of any relationship. Take some time for yourself.

It is imperative to rid yourself of all ghost-related photographs (at least put them out of sight), gifts, reminders, and social media storylines. As much as possible, avoid letting them occupy any of your mental space.

Unfollow, unfriend, and block. This is crucial so that they can’t just dip in and out of your life when it’s convenient for them. For your own mental health, cutting communication and reminders will be vital.

4. Count Your Blessings

It may take some time to get to the point of feeling gratitude, but that point will come.

Be thankful that you are no longer in a relationship with someone who valued you so little that they could treat you with such disregard. Seeing this at an early stage is actually a blessing and leaves you free to find someone who is more worthy of you. Be grateful that you were able to perform an exorcism and are no longer haunted by a toxic relationship.

Final Thoughts on How to Deal with Ghosting

Ghosting hurts. No matter how you slice it, it’s difficult to deal with someone you care about putting you in a state of simmering. This can be even more challenging when you don’t even know what caused it.

What’s important to remember is that you may not have done anything specific or wrong. There are times when other people are just overwhelmed with their own lives. This is why Step 2, Sending a Final Communication, is so important; you want to extend that olive branch one last time to let them know you care.

If they still won’t respect you back, then that’s when you know it’s time to move on.