Is Sexting Cheating If You’re in a Relationship?

Sexting can be a fun way to spice up a relationship between intimate partners, but is sexting cheating if it’s with someone else?

After all, relationships are built upon intimacy and trust. This can be challenging to develop and maintain in our fast-paced digital world, as temptations abound.

We will take a deep dive into the many facets of sexting and give our take on the subject.

What is Sexting?

One of the reasons couples often differ on subjects is because they don’t take the time to define the terms. If we each have a different idea of what it is we’re discussing, it’s impossible to get to the bottom of things.

To avoid that, let’s be clear about what sexting is, and what it isn’t.

What Sexting Is

Sexting traditionally includes sending or receiving any sort of explicit digital content. This includes texts, photos, videos, and even includes audio files.

The most common way to sext these days is using a smartphone, but it could also be using a personal computer, tablet, or other device.

The Challenge of Defining Sexting

While sending a nude photo would obviously be crossing the line, what about some seemingly innocuous banter with a coworker?

If you think your texting with someone might be borderline sexting, ask yourself a few questions:

• Would you feel comfortable telling your partner about the messages? If not, why not?
• What are you getting from these conversations that you are lacking from your relationship?
• Does it make you feel something intimate when you’re texting this person?
• How would you feel if your significant other was exchanging these same messages with someone else?

If you’re feeling a level of discomfort with any of these questions, that should tell you everything. You’ll know whether you’re stepping outside of your comfort zone by answering these honestly.

What Sexting Isn’t

Given that we all use digital media to communicate, texting others while in a relationship isn’t necessarily cheating. It can be entirely harmless to text someone who isn’t your partner, so long as the intent and content both remain on-the-level.

As online affairs are on the rise, it is important to be vigilant. Messaging is a two-way street, so even if you’re keeping things platonic, you should also be fully aware of the messages coming back at you.

If the other person seems to be pushing things by sending increasingly provocative photos, for example, they may be looking for more.

It may be necessary to shut down such advances in order remain within your comfort zone.

Is Sexting Cheating If It Never Goes Further?

One of the biggest distinctions people make is whether sexting counts as cheating if it remains online. A challenge with this line of thinking, though, is that you don’t know where something will lead at the beginning.

The truth is that sexting has a high chance of leading to an affair. No different than any other way of forming a relationship, sexting heightens the emotions. This can then lead to a physical romance taking form.

Related Reading: 6 Simple Ways to Keep Your Man from Cheating

What’s the Big Deal with Flirty Texts?

The average adult spends around 23 hours per week online. That comes out to around 3.3 hours daily. If you consider that a person may be awake for 16 hours per day, that means 20% of one’s time is spent texting, E-mailing, or otherwise browsing the web.

If 20% of your time is devoted to these activities, it actually matters a lot how you spend those hours.

All relationships take time to grow. If you’re giving a large percentage of your time to flirting online with someone else, that will also flourish.

Is Sexting Cheating in all Relationships?

When most people think of intimate relationships, it is one-to-one with no others involved. However, relationships come in many flavours.

Some couples have agreements in place that allow this sort of conduct provided there is no physical contact. It is seen as foreplay that allows both partners to safely explore while still always remaining in a monogamous relationship.

Is sexting cheating if you’ve agreed to allow some wiggle room for online play? That will depend on the boundaries you’ve set. Having said this, you can only establish these boundaries if you have an open discussion on the topic.

So when is the best time to have that chat? Long before a situation comes up that may challenge your moral scruples. Get the discussion going early, particularly if you know yourself to be flirty with your online contacts.

Final Thoughts

With so much of our lives spent online, the digital world is increasingly representing reality, physical or otherwise.

Is sexting cheating in a relationship? Both the short and the long answer is Yes.

Sexting outside your relationship can be very damaging and carry disastrous outcomes. Before engaging in or continuing in what may seem like harmless behaviour, consider the consequences.  Trust may be damaged beyond any possibility of repair, unless you tackle these issues early.

Have the discussion with your partner. Establish boundaries and expectations with one another to be sure you’re on the same page.