6 Great Reasons for Keeping a Relationship Secret

a couple feeling intimacy in a secret relationship

Social media thrives on allowing people to publically broadcast every intimate detail of their lives. This can lead to the downside of having others pry into your personal space. In this article, we will explore various reasons for keeping a relationship secret.

As opposed to negative forms of relationship hiding such as pocketing, keeping quiet in the right way can have many benefits.

Before we get started, here’s an infographic covering our top reasons for keeping a relationship a secret:

the six reasons for keeping a relationship secret

1. Improves Communication

When the entire world consists only of the two of you, it is imperative that you figure out how to talk through every issue. Whether it is a few waves or a tropical storm, a couple in a secret relationship must depend on each other to navigate the choppy waters as a team.

Although this may seem challenging and lonely at times, it will actually encourage intimacy, vulnerability, and help you determine whether you are compatible for the long haul.

By keeping your situation private, you will be forced to use one another as a complete support system. With the right partner, there can be great mental health benefits to having someone solid to lean on.

2. Stoke the Fire: Hot! Hot! Hot!

Having a secret from the rest of the world can actually be a delicious aphrodisiac. This can be especially true if it is known that you and your partner are acquainted, but not in a relationship.

The us-against-the-world mentality can actually create some very sexy scenarios as you exchange glances across a room, or have conversations amongst friends knowing later on you will be engaging in private pillow talk.

It can be incredibly stimulating playing footsy with your significant other when in a group setting. The sexual intensity alone can be one of the best reasons for keeping your relationship a secret.

3. Keep it Focused

People often feel overstretched in today’s world and even time with their partner is often shared with other people. Having a secret romantic relationship forces you to carve out private time for just the two of you.

This will create a world that is truly about you as it is not for just for show and not on display for others. You may find before long that they have become not just your lover, but also a best friend.

Allowing no one else to peer into your relationship creates a sense of fidelity toward one another. You each hold the key to an important detail about one another’s lives, yet each holds true to your self-imposed omerta.

4. Drama-Free Zone

By keeping the outside world in the dark, you can avoid the stress and hassle of friends and family involvement.

Consider the following emotional benefits to keeping your relationship a secret:

  • Social media. Feeling no pressure to post your relationship for the judgement of others can be particularly freeing. Most people have a tendency to over post in an attempt to create the illusion of a perfect life, which rarely aligns with reality.
  • You’re dating a coworker. There can be huge implications to dating someone you work with. This can be volatile and impede future promotions and opportunities. Don’t come out with this until you’re sure it’s going to last.
  • Involvement of others. When a relationship is secret, the only opinions that matter belong to the two partners. Although this should always be the case, it rarely is.  Friends and family always have views that can influence and impact the relationship in ways that may not cause a positive outcome.
  • Easy exit. Breakups are never easy, and sometimes they are made even more challenging when it is widely known that your love has ended. With a secret relationship, you control the flow of information and can decide whether or not to seek advice or comfort from friends and loved ones, with no fear that others are whispering behind your back.

Tell people only what you want them to know and they won’t be able to create any drama.

5. Empowerment

When you decide who knows about your relationship, you remain in charge. This is particularly important if you struggle with others not respecting boundaries.

By flipping the script in terms of how relationships are usually advertised, you truly own the process.

This can be particularly useful when you’re in a taboo relationship. For example, in an age gap relationship, you are likely to face many extreme opinions. People love nothing more than to throw some shade on your relationship status for their own amusement.

By keeping others in the dark, you don’t need to listen to their unsolicited views. As time goes on, you can then decide who to let into your circle of confidence, and when you’re ready to do so.

6. Keeping Your Social Media Accounts Professional

Thirty years ago, employers had to do a lot of digging to figure out who a person truly was. They had to know someone, ask a lot of questions, and do some heavy investigation.

These days, the majority of employers use social media for background checks. Even if you think of LinkedIn as the primary professional space, be aware that your Facebook, Instagram, and other accounts also tell loads about who you really are.

If you’re posting lovey-dovey photos with your SO all over the place, you may not look like a serious candidate. You can argue about whether this is right or wrong, but you can’t take back what’s out on the web.

Final Thoughts on the Reasons for Keeping Your Relationship a Secret

The most important thing about keeping your relationship a secret is to do it for the right reasons. If you’re doing it out of embarrassment or fear, then you’ve got mixed up priorities.

Keep your relationship secret to control the narrative and remain in the driver’s seat. Let the truth come out on your own timetable and when you are personally ready.