5 Clear Signs He is Hurting After the Break Up

The end of a relationship can be a time of great upheaval. Even if the period together was brief, hearts never break evenly. The sexes deal with these feelings in their own way, which means even if he doesn’t express his pain the same as you, that doesn’t mean he isn’t feeling anything. In this article, we’ll cover the telltale signs he is hurting after the break up.

The points listed below can serve as guideposts to help you assess whether he is dealing with a broken heart or whether he has moved on. The key will be to look for a combination of factors rather than just one on its own.

Let’s get started.

The Telltale Signs He is Hurting After the Break Up

The male psychology after a break up can lead them to do things that seem counterintuitive. And not all men will react in exactly the same way in the days and weeks following a separation. The time to becoming happy after a break up differs based on many circumstances.

This can come down to whether they are okay with displaying vulnerability or need to exhibit confidence. If you know your former lover well enough, you’ll be able to tell which of the indicators below ring true.

1. You are cut off

If you have recently gone through a break up and you find that your ex is suddenly missing from your newsfeeds, it is likely not an accident.

There is a good chance you have been unfriended, blocked, and scrubbed clean from all of his accounts. This is a sure-fire sign that he is hurting and does not want to risk seeing that you might have moved on without him. If he does not have to see it, it does not exist.

Therefore, it is easier to entertain the thought that you might also be lonely, sad, and missing him as much as he is missing you.

2. You are seeing too much of him on your newsfeed

Worse than being cut off is the ex who ramps up his social life in an attempt to make you feel jealous or realize the good thing you had when you had it.

If he was never this active socially either before or during your relationship there is a good chance that if you are seeing a constant stream of him out with his buddies or other women, that the show is for you. If his social media content is crying out, I’m doing great, it’s likely the opposite in reality.

The social aspect of being surrounded by other people might also be quelling the loneliness that your ex is feeling due to the void you left behind.

3. He is being spiteful

The man you fell in love with seems to be nowhere in sight and you can’t even remember why you fell in love to begin with. Sound familiar?

No break up is easy, but they can be civilized. Usually when one partner is being overly nasty to the other, it is due to unresolved feelings of some kind.

As the saying goes, “hurt people hurt people”.

Perhaps if your ex-partner is going out of his way to cause you pain, it is an attempt to make you feel the way that he is feeling.

4. He plans to bump into you

You used to only see each other on weekends and the odd weeknight, but all of a sudden you see him in line behind you at the grocery store or in your morning spin class.

If the coincidences start feeling less like coincidences and more like subtle stalking, there is a good chance your ex has been planning his day around these encounters.

Here are a few ways to tell he is intentionally running into you:

• He always seems prepared with exactly what to say. This would suggest he has been planning his lines.
• His emotions are overly surprised when he sees you. If he seems shocked to run into you, it’s likely he’s putting on a show.

Beyond being one of the signs he is hurting after the break up, any of these indicators may suggest he actually still has romantic feelings toward you.

5. He goes into hiding

A man who is hurting may be challenging to find, as he may go into hiding both mentally and physically.

He may distance himself from you, his friends, and even his family while he licks his wounds and heals. It is common for a man going through a break up to need time to himself to reflect on what his priorities should be moving forward, or to simply do nothing and just be.

The best thing to do if this is the case is to just leave well enough alone.

Keep in mind that being ghosted by an ex can be a great thing, as it also gives you space to breathe. Whether he’s deleted his social media or is just taking some time off, use that for your own mental health as well. Never underestimate the power of silence when you’ve been through emotional upheaval.

Figure Out Why You Need to Know He’s in Pain

Your reasons for determining his emotional state are important to understand. Remember that when relationships end, there’s always a reason for it. Sometimes the reasons are good, sometimes they aren’t, but they’re still there.

Trying to turn things around on the basis of him struggling can be a slippery slope.

The healing process takes time and he may even being feeling depression after your break up. This isn’t something to be taken advantage of.

Concluding Thoughts on the Signs He is Hurting After the Break up

Knowing whether your former partner is in pain over losing you is just a starting point. Even if he’s not dealing well with it, that doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to get back into a relationship with you.

Tread carefully and be respectful of the space he may need to unpack his feelings.

Two of the best signs he is hurting after a break up are whether he either wants to see more of you, or not be around you at all. This level of high emotion tells you he still feels intense emotion about you.

If he’s wishy-washy about you, he may simply have moved on.