9 Reliable Signs You Are Unofficially Dating

Relationships can begin in many ways. In the perfect scenario, someone you like asks you out and you accept. Other times, you wind up in a situationship with nothing formally established. If you suspect this is the case, you need to look out for signs you are unofficially dating.

While it can be freeing to remain within the shades of grey, there can also be drawbacks. It is important to define whether you are in a casual or exclusive relationship.

This article will walk you through the tell-tale signs of unofficial dating and offer advice on what to do about it.

1. They’re your go-to with important events

We all have someone we call first when something big happens. There’s always someone that gets the first text to give them the good or bad news.

The reason you go to that person is because you want their opinion, and you know they’ll empathize with you. If that person is someone you aren’t formally in a relationship with, this is a huge indication that you’re unofficially dating.

2. You’re more interested in seeing them than exploring other dating options

One of the strongest signs you are unofficially dating is if you close yourself off to other options. If you don’t take things further with others you might flirt with, or decline to go on blind dates, you should ask yourself why that is.

Is it because you already have someone who fills your emotional needs?

3. They’ve told you about their family

A critical point in any relationship is meeting their family. When you’re unofficially dating, you may not have met their family, but you definitely know about them.

If you did meet their relatives, how were you introduced? Did their family make a big effort to ensure you felt welcomed and as one of them?

This can be an indicator that they have been talking extensively about you, and suggests you’re more than just regular friends.

4. They make you feel both safe and excited

It’s quite common to have friends or family who make you feel safe. This could be a parent, a sibling, or even just someone you’ve known for a long time. Being in their company gives you a feeling of warmth and comfort.

Likewise, you may have some friends who are exciting to hang out with. You might go on road trips and or clubbing together, but that’s where the emotional connection ends.

If you have someone who makes you feel safe and yet also invigorates your spirit, you certainly have a deep connection.

5. Other people notice your special connection

When you’re more than friends with someone, there’s a good chance others will take notice of that.

Here are some things other friends might say about you and your special friend:

• “You two have such a unique connection. You’re absolutely inseparable.”
• “Oh, I just assumed you two were actually dating.”

If those who know you well can recognize what you have, that’s a clear signal there’s more going on.

6. You can always assume they want to do things with you

If a new movie is coming out, do you already know they want to go with you without even asking? When there’s a party on Friday night, is it a given that you’ll be riding there together?

If something bad happened, are they someone you know will ride with you to the end?

Having someone who is always going to be with you through both the fun and the challenges is important. It’s also one of the key signs you’re unofficially dating, as it’s a hallmark of any close relationship.

7. You feel a singular commitment to one another, even if it hasn’t been stated

It feels as though you’re connected to one another, even if you’re not exclusively committed. If either of you do have an official relationship aside from one another, then what you have would be more like an affair.

On the same topic, if you’ve both discussed that you’re able to see other people, then you’ve actually declared an official and open relationship. This would not quality as a situationship.

The entire concept of unofficially dating hinges on there not being an official agreement as to what it is.

8. Anxiety, anxiety, anxiety

One of the most potent signs you are unofficially dating is if your anxiety is off the charts. Being in an ambiguous situation tends to lead to plenty of second-guessing, along with high levels of stress.

If you don’t know where you stand, you might always feel like the rug might get pulled out from under you.

Here are some anxiety-inducing questions you might be asking about your situationship:

• What if they meet someone else who they like spending more time with than me?
• Do they think we’re more than friends?
• Are we on the same page about our relationship?
• What if they never want more?

The tricky things is deciding what to do with these emotions. While bringing them to light might unsettle the balance you’ve struck, that can be better than perpetually biting your fingernails!

9. You are officially single

The bottom line is that if you’re telling people you’re single, then that’s officially what you are. However, this interaction can give you an idea of how you actually feel.

Listen closely to your emotions when you tell others than you’re single. If it makes you feel uncomfortable, like you’re not telling the whole truth, what do you think that signifies?

That’s right: you’re unofficially dating

Beyond the Signs You Are Unofficially Dating: What To Do About It

If you saw yourself in many of the signs above, then you’re definitely in a situationship. This isn’t necessarily a good or a bad thing.

There are fundamentally two things you need to understand about unofficially dating:

• What do you want from the relationship?
• What do they want from the relationship?

If you want more while they don’t, it’ll fall apart eventually. If they want more while you don’t, then you get the same result.

Changing the Relationship

Relationships are dynamic. They don’t remain the same forever, even if we’d like them to. The reality is that at some point, the prospect of remaining perpetually in an unofficial capacity may lose its lustre.

The good news is there are tactics to get out of the friend zone. It doesn’t need to be an emotional death sentence.

Just keep in mind that if you push to move things forward, there is likely no going back. You’ll need to decide for yourself whether that’s worth the risk.

Concluding Thoughts on Unofficial Dating

Remaining in a casual relationship can feel liberating because it leaves your options open. However, it can also lead to confusion and risk hurt feelings. After all, what if they use this freedom to simultaneously start up a relationship with someone else?

It is vital to recognize your own boundaries and what your ultimate goals are. The longer you keep things unofficial, the more difficult it can be to eventually turn up the intensity. If that’s okay with you, then you can go ahead with keeping things as they are. Just know you’re playing with fire!