The Best 4 Ways to Win at Speed Dating

Looking for love in all the wrong places? Yeah, I’ve done it, too. When the buzzer rings to start the clock and you’re sitting across from a stranger with 90 seconds to figure out if it can work, there isn’t time to fumble around. To win and speed dating, you need a strategy.

I’m going to walk you through the four best ways to get the most out of your speed dating adventure.

Let’s get started.

1. Give them a break

Remember that they’re in the same boat you are. You’re both just hoping to find someone compatible to spend time with.

There are no ulterior motives.

If they seem nervous, put them at ease. Your entire goal is to find out who they actually are.

Here are a few easy ways to keep things light:

• Remember to SMILE!
• Let me know you’re nervous, too.
• Keep eye contact throughout the discussion; they should know you’re very much interested in what they have to say.

Compared to online dating, you’ll need to make sure your physical reactions are sending the signals you want them to. It’s more than just your words that will carry the conversation.

2. Listen to their answers to your questions

Even if you’ve only got a short window of time, stop and listen to them. Making the most of 90 seconds isn’t about rushing through.

You’re better off exploring one or two questions deeply than trying to find the answers to ten shallow ones.

One good rule of thumb is that if you aren’t even interested in them enough to ask a follow-up question or two after hearing their responses, there probably isn’t much chemistry. Listen to your gut on that one and jump ship!

3. Don’t be afraid to say NO!

There are too many fish in the sea to give every single one a slow, close examination. If you’re not really getting the right vibes from someone, don’t give them your number just to be nice.

Be firm, be up front, and only pursue the ones you actually have a genuine interest in.

Keep in mind that for every one you turn down, you’re giving yourself more of an opportunity and additional time to explore the ones you are into. That’s a double-benefit and is the sort of attitude you’ll need to have to win at speed dating.

4. Ask at least two of the same questions to every person

When you have to screen a large number of people, you want to have some way of weeding out the wheat from the chaff. If you are asking different questions to all of them, you won’t have any real way of assessing the differences.

Likewise, you’ll start getting better at understanding what characterizes the sort of response you’re looking for. In other words, you’ll get better as you go, using the same base questionnaire.

Feel free to refine your questions as you go, but stick to the same base.

Here are two questions I used consistently that helped me win at speed dating:

• What would your best friend say are your strengths and weaknesses?
• What do you like and dislike most about the city/town you live in?

I also like to mix in a few easy ones that tend to generate a ton of discussion. For example, you could ask them what the last three movies they watched; this will give you an idea of their tastes, and also open the door to hearing about what makes them tick.

Final Thoughts on the Best Ways to Win at Speed Dating

Since the entire activity of speed dating comes and goes so quickly, you’re not likely to find any sort of true love at the speed dating table. What you do want is some sort of spark.

You’re looking for a physical attraction, coupled with intellectual stimulation. When you’re at the dating-equivalent of a buffet, feel free to sample first and then fill up your plate once you find something you like!